Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
Can I crash on your couch? I just came home to find my wife giving two guys blowjobs.
Two?
Two.
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
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