i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
It was confusing and full of hummus
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
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