is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
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