I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize
