I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
You're a disaster
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