Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Randomize
