I've blown a few things in my day
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
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he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
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