Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
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