Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
if i died would you start the facebook group?
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
