There is no way he is gay with that hair.
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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