i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
Boobs speak an international language.
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
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