The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
Randomize
