Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
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