What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
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