I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
Randomize