I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
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