Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
