I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
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