No awkward lesbian experiences without me
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
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