My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
i don't like sucking hair
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
Contemplating These 27 Questions Will Make Your Brain Explode
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
25 People Confess The Most Shocking Things They’ve Ever Seen In Public
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.