sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
Randomize
