Cold hands, warm shart.
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
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I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
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I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
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