I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
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