So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
21 Of The Most Regrettable Tattoo Ideas Ever
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
These 25 People Had Very Inappropriate Sexual Relations(hips)
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!