I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.