her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Randomize
