Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
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