I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
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