is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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