and i looked up. we had an audience...
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap