to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
23 People Confess Why They Don’t Talk To Their Best Friend Anymore
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
These 17 Delivery Dudes Suck At Their Jobs But Are Winning At Life
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old