I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize