? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize
