I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
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I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
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