Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
Randomize
