There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
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That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
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Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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