this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
oh god was she eating orange peels again
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
Randomize
