one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
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