no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Randomize