So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
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