I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
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After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
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I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
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