The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
Randomize
