i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
Randomize
