You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
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The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
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I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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