She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
Randomize
