if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
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