Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
I don't think brook has ever known best
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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