The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
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i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
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She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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