I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
You peed on a flamingo?!?
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
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