Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize
