Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
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