he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
Randomize