shes about as inviting as chlamydia
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
Someone signed my nipple.
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
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